Purpose In Life

Today I had another eye opening and heart felt experience at church.  I went into service tonight with some dear friends and my boyfriend since I haven't gone in over two months.   Lately my heart has been "weak" and my energy level seems to have fallen a little.  I knew that going to church always recharges my batteries and re-energizes me so I was excited to go.  

I usually don't talk about religion too much on my blog but when I have these moments, I can't help but want to share them with whomever wants to read about them, but I also write them for myself as a reminder of how I felt and why.   So I hope this blog post inspires you, touches you, or causes you to take a few minutes to reflect.  We all deserve to take time every day if we are lucky if not at least once a week to just be quiet.   Quiet from all the noise we are exposed to constantly. 

Noise being technology, people, our surroundings, and the thoughts in our heads.  It is almost impossible to stop, shut out the noises/distractions and just be quiet.   We are such an overstimulated society and we are exposed to noises every moment.  I am absolutely guilty of this and it has taken a toll on me.   I cannot relax.  Ever.  I don't know how to be quiet and how to relax because I cannot shut out the noises and distractions, except when I am at church.   So far that is the only thing and place where this happens.    I hope you have a place or time for you to be quiet- if you don't.  I highly recommend you find it. 

The sermon that was shared today could not have been more perfect for me today.  It was almost as if the big man upstairs knew that my visit today needed to hear this message.   Being still a relatively young Christian believer in my faith, I had never read the story of Esther as well as stories in the Old Testament.  The story of Esther is of strength and courage.   Esther is known for her courageous act to save her people, the Jews.  She put her life on the line to defend and save the lives of others, when she knew her odds could not be in her favor.

The timeless story of Esther, a young Jewish girl who becomes Queen, serves as an example of how God has a purpose for each of us.   God has it all under control.  He orchestrates, plans, sets-up and provides these moments for us with a purpose. i.e. the roommates we have, every job we have, every skill we have, the people we interact with, etc.   Everything we do has a purpose. 

Of course I find it hard sometimes for me to allow myself to think that this fully happens.  It is sort of scary because I think we all strive to have "control" over our lives.  Control of what path our career takes, control over our weight, looks, number of best friends we have, money in our bank accounts- the list is endless.   To think that someone somewhere is sort of guiding each and every one of our lives is a little unsettling.  But in this crazy, unpredictable, uncertain life we live each and every day, I think there is comfort knowing that someone is looking out for us every moment.  I think that is why I sleep better at night (aside from times where I  am reviewing all the things I need to do the next day or forgot to do that day or things I am anxious about), because I know that what I am doing and where I am in my life is meant to be.

Lately where I am in my life (26 woman, in a long-terms relationship, 2nd job outside of college, a friend, a sister, a granddaughter, a niece, obsessed with Twitter & Foursquare, socialite, workout guru),  I find myself in a sort of reflection stage of my life.  I find myself questioning where I am with my life.  I know this is normal but lately I feel like I am going through a quarter-life crisis.    Yes I said it.  A quarter-life crisis.  

According to Urban Dictionary, a quarter-life crisis "usually occurs sometime in your twenties, a few years out of school and still feel as though you're waiting for you're life to begin."   After reading Urban Dictionaries definition of a quarter-life crisis, I could not believe how much I am feeling exactly what the definiton describes.    I am totally questioning all of these things in my life but I know it is okay and completely normal.   There is no need for me to rush through occurrances, events, and experiences in my life.   Just because other people are in different stages of their lives, have experienced things I want to experience,  visited places I want to visit; does not mean I have to rush to do them too.   There is a purpose for everything I do and when I do it.    

After listening to her story and how the story relates to my everyday life, I left church this evening recharged and refreshed.   One of the final statements that was said to everyone who attended tonight's sermon was "our job is our occupation to our faith."   Meaning what I am doing with my life, as my career and every day life is how I am using my faith.    I should be making my purpose in life have an impact each and every day in some way, shape or form.   We all should be.   Instead of focusing on only us and others close to us, we should be thinking about even the small nuances in life have an impact.   For example, who we smile to, open doors for, tasks we assist with, amongst many other things.  Everything we do should have a purpose.  I am thankful I have a job that allows me to work some incredible people and organizations who are making a difference in the lives of others, whether people or animals.   My job is my occupation of my faith in that I get to help share the great work of ours with the public but also help them continue to have funding to fulfill the amazing work they do.  

That energizes me and I know that my current job is just the next step for what my next path in life will be down the road.

What energizes you?   Have you felt the weight of a quarter-life crisis?    Do you believe that we all have a purpose and things happen for a reason?   What is your quiet time and how often do you take time for it?  I would love to hear your thoughts, comments, ideas.

 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16.9.

Good Friday

Good Friday, also known as Holy Friday, Great Friday, is a religious holiday observed primarily by Christians commemorating the crucifixion of Jesus Christ and his death at Calvary.   This is a day where we give thanks and remember the one who gave his life for us.   We remember the pain, sacrifice and love Jesus Christ had for us so that we could live free of sin.   We more importantly celebrate this particular day because the death of Christ on the cross is the paramount event of the Christian faith. 

This year I will be spending Good Friday, with the man I love by going to our church (Park Community Church) for their Good Friday service followed by dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant in Chicago, Basil Leaf.   This will be my second Easter with his family and away from mine.  As he and I continue to grow both as individuals and as a pair, each month our relationship, friendship and love for one another grows deeper and deeper.   We are forming our own traditions and make an effort to keep them, like our Good Friday tradition.   Since he and I do not celebrate any of the other major holidays together yet, this makes Easter even more special.

It is weird to think sometimes how much I am growing up and how far away childhood seems to feel.    There is no more decorating Easter eggs, going to brunch to get a photo with the Easter bunny.   No more Easter egg hunts racing against my siblings to see who can find the most eggs.   Or Easter baskets waiting downstairs for us.   Instead this holiday has a bigger meaning to me.   Sharing it with my second family and appreciating the real meaning behind Good Friday and Easter.    

Sometimes in this crazy busy life we live, it is easy to get distracted and forget how lucky we truly are.   Lucky to have loved ones in our lives, lucky to be healthy, lucky to live comfortably.    Tomorrow is a day that I look forward to each year because it helps me stay grounded in not only my faith but with myself.    I am so incredibly thankful for so many things and lately with all the hustle and bustle in my life, I have grown weary.   Weary and at times, negative.    There will always be high times and low times, and when you find yourself weary, it is imperative that you do things for you. 

Without the support and love from the people in my life, life would be less enjoyable.   Tomorrow is a day I can give thanks once again for all the ways I am blessed.   I will reflect on what my faith means to me and how much Christ did so that I could live my life to the fullest.  

 How will you be spending tomorrow?  Do you have any Good Friday traditions?    Have you ever found yourself in a moment of weariness?    How did you help bring yourself out of it?   I would love to hear from you- comments, thoughts, anything!

"Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection, not in books alone but in every leaf in springtime."  ~ Martin Luther

A Sign

Almost every day of my life I am rushing from one place to the next. Always on the go. Some days are more jammed pack than others and I know I bring it upon myself. I try to fit in as much as I can into a day and with the assumption that I will get to everything. Sometimes I succeed, some days I don't.

Today the unthinkable happened. I wanted to fit an errand in during my lunch break because I knew I wouldn't have time otherwise. The day was flying by and it was now or never.  I throw on my sneakers (because I can power-walk faster in them), grab my purse and my to-return item and head to the elevators.

As I ride the elevator down to the transfer floor I wait for the doors to open so I can speed off to the next elevator. The doors open and I get my jump start off the elevator and suddenly, SWERVE............ I barely saved myself from running into two nuns. Yes nuns. They were dressed head to toe in beautiful garments with big iron crosses hanging around their necks. They just looked at me. I suddenly felt my face turning red and I quickly apologized as they were stepping onto the elevator.

It was a sign. I have never seen nuns before in my entire life and two happened to be in my office building on this particular day. Maybe this is a sign that I am always rushing everywhere and need to slow down my life. God works in funny ways and I think this is his way of saying SLOW DOWN JESSICA. I am always rushing, never stopping to "smell the roses." This is a sign  that I will need to remind myself of as frequently as I can.... starting tomorrow.

So starting tomorrow I am going to slow down. I am going to slow my life down and not rush everywhere. If I can't fit everything in, then that is okay. There is always tomorrow. Sometimes we need a sign. Signs give us direction and sometimes help us realize things we may already know deep inside. Maybe we need to almost run into our signs for us to finally get the picture? My sign worked and now it is time for me to do something about it.

Faith

By definition, Faith is confidence or trust in a person or thing; faith in another's ability.  Faith also means the belief, trust in and loyalty to God. As I entered into 2010, one of my goals and New Year’s Resolutions was to work on my faith and my relationship with God.  When I first moved to Chicago, I was determined to find a church that would make me feel welcomed, comfortable, and strengthen my faith.  My mission was to find a church I could call my own.

Months would go by and I had not found my perfect church.  I began to get frustrated and almost ready to give up, until my roommate Courtney mentioned Park Church- the church she and other people I know attend. She recommended that I attend a few services.  Thankfully my dear friend Patti was seeking her faith and a church as well and quickly she became my church buddy.  After my first few services at Park, I knew I was hooked.

Since January, my faith has become an important part of my life.  During my moments of weakness, my faith has been the shoulder I lean on and my confidant.  At times I struggle in finding reassurance, explanations and reasoning’s for why things happen. In my ideal world, I wish I could control situations, obtain powers that are unobtainable, and find answers to unsolvable questions.  These wants are unrealistic and no matter how much I wish for these things, I know they will never happen.  However, as I attend church and hear the sermons, I have begun to realize that I need to trust God and let him lead the way.  I can only control so much in my life and I have to leave the rest in the hands of God, placing my trust in him.

If I could control and decide every aspect of my life, would that make me happier?  If I knew what was in store for me, would I be as ambitious and motivated as I am now?  No I wouldn't because my life would be predictable and pre-planned, rather than a mysterious journey.  Life would never have surprises or hardships if we were the directors of our own lives.  Instead, we are the leading star of our own life and everyone else around us is our co-stars, accompanying us in writing our life story.

Every year we have a day dedicated to us being reborn and renewed, and that special day is Easter.  Before Easter Sunday, I take time to reflect, remember and celebrate Jesus's life.  I reflect on the sacrifice he made; remember the price that was paid for my sins; and celebrate the victory and new life I have through His resurrection.  This year, Easter has taken a whole new meaning to me and has changed my life. We only get one life to live, so why not live it up?

So now, I am living each day to the fullest and taking my faith with me along the way.  I will be prepared for what is to come. Even when times are down, and I start to lose sight, I will turn to my faith.  Because I know someone is always looking out for me and guiding me.  I will be the leading lady of my own life and continue to enrich my life more with my faith and the people I surround myself with.  I know there will be hard times ahead and I will be ready to stand strong.  I've gotta have faith and never forget that God is at my side every step of the way.

“'Cause I gotta have faith...”- George Michael.

Carpe Diem

We all know what time is. It's the ticking of a clock, the whine of an alarm, the calendar on the wall. We use time to help us organize our days and to use as a tool for duration- time is the measure of our lives.

With every year that passes, I not only grow a year older but each passing year seems to go by faster and faster. Memories come to fade, years blend together, and time never seems to slow down. Once the first day hits of a new year, we only have 8,760 hours in that year, which can feel like a blink of an eye.

When you are a little kid, it is hard to fathom being an adult one day. You have no worries in the world, days are slower, and life is an adventure. Looking back now on my childhood days, I have a hard time grasping how fast it went by. Being an adult, your life revolves around time. 365 days feels like nothing, and when a year passes by, you wished it wouldn’t.

In just the past few years I have lost three grandparents, a childhood friend, and my first pet Sneakers; graduated from college, moved to a big city, and started my career; attended weddings, engagement parties and baby showers for cousins and friends; as well as celebrated countless birthdays and anniversaries. No matter how hard we try to live in the moment, life is passing us by every second. Realizing the importance of life and knowing what we truly value, is the key to living a fulfilled life.

Finding my faith with God has truly helped me grasp the key role time plays in my life and has opened my eyes on how to live a more filled life. Time is too short to be spent on people who are not fulfilling your life, nor on activities that do not make you happy. Instead, spend your every moment how you want. In retrospect I feel I've missed out on many things because I felt compelled to be elsewhere, said yes when I really wanted to say no, and made promises I knew I would never be able to keep. All of these things were a result of believing I knew what would make me feel fulfilled. Yet many times I still seem to fall short from my aspirations.

It takes a lot of courage, motivation, and determination to make changes in your life, but I am growing stronger and feeling more fulfilled as each day passes. I wake up every morning and feel my heart and soul a little bit fuller than the day prior. My outlook on life has changed - now the glass is always half full, not half empty.

Are you filled? Do you know what makes your life more full? These are two questions I ask myself almost every day in hopes that they will continue to guide me to find balance.

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” - Joe Lewis

"Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think." - Horace