Today I had another eye opening and heart felt experience at church. I went into service tonight with some dear friends and my boyfriend since I haven't gone in over two months. Lately my heart has been "weak" and my energy level seems to have fallen a little. I knew that going to church always recharges my batteries and re-energizes me so I was excited to go.
I usually don't talk about religion too much on my blog but when I have these moments, I can't help but want to share them with whomever wants to read about them, but I also write them for myself as a reminder of how I felt and why. So I hope this blog post inspires you, touches you, or causes you to take a few minutes to reflect. We all deserve to take time every day if we are lucky if not at least once a week to just be quiet. Quiet from all the noise we are exposed to constantly.
Noise being technology, people, our surroundings, and the thoughts in our heads. It is almost impossible to stop, shut out the noises/distractions and just be quiet. We are such an overstimulated society and we are exposed to noises every moment. I am absolutely guilty of this and it has taken a toll on me. I cannot relax. Ever. I don't know how to be quiet and how to relax because I cannot shut out the noises and distractions, except when I am at church. So far that is the only thing and place where this happens. I hope you have a place or time for you to be quiet- if you don't. I highly recommend you find it.
The sermon that was shared today could not have been more perfect for me today. It was almost as if the big man upstairs knew that my visit today needed to hear this message. Being still a relatively young Christian believer in my faith, I had never read the story of Esther as well as stories in the Old Testament. The story of Esther is of strength and courage. Esther is known for her courageous act to save her people, the Jews. She put her life on the line to defend and save the lives of others, when she knew her odds could not be in her favor.
The timeless story of Esther, a young Jewish girl who becomes Queen, serves as an example of how God has a purpose for each of us. God has it all under control. He orchestrates, plans, sets-up and provides these moments for us with a purpose. i.e. the roommates we have, every job we have, every skill we have, the people we interact with, etc. Everything we do has a purpose.
Of course I find it hard sometimes for me to allow myself to think that this fully happens. It is sort of scary because I think we all strive to have "control" over our lives. Control of what path our career takes, control over our weight, looks, number of best friends we have, money in our bank accounts- the list is endless. To think that someone somewhere is sort of guiding each and every one of our lives is a little unsettling. But in this crazy, unpredictable, uncertain life we live each and every day, I think there is comfort knowing that someone is looking out for us every moment. I think that is why I sleep better at night (aside from times where I am reviewing all the things I need to do the next day or forgot to do that day or things I am anxious about), because I know that what I am doing and where I am in my life is meant to be.
Lately where I am in my life (26 woman, in a long-terms relationship, 2nd job outside of college, a friend, a sister, a granddaughter, a niece, obsessed with Twitter & Foursquare, socialite, workout guru), I find myself in a sort of reflection stage of my life. I find myself questioning where I am with my life. I know this is normal but lately I feel like I am going through a quarter-life crisis. Yes I said it. A quarter-life crisis.
According to Urban Dictionary, a quarter-life crisis "usually occurs sometime in your twenties, a few years out of school and still feel as though you're waiting for you're life to begin." After reading Urban Dictionaries definition of a quarter-life crisis, I could not believe how much I am feeling exactly what the definiton describes. I am totally questioning all of these things in my life but I know it is okay and completely normal. There is no need for me to rush through occurrances, events, and experiences in my life. Just because other people are in different stages of their lives, have experienced things I want to experience, visited places I want to visit; does not mean I have to rush to do them too. There is a purpose for everything I do and when I do it.
After listening to her story and how the story relates to my everyday life, I left church this evening recharged and refreshed. One of the final statements that was said to everyone who attended tonight's sermon was "our job is our occupation to our faith." Meaning what I am doing with my life, as my career and every day life is how I am using my faith. I should be making my purpose in life have an impact each and every day in some way, shape or form. We all should be. Instead of focusing on only us and others close to us, we should be thinking about even the small nuances in life have an impact. For example, who we smile to, open doors for, tasks we assist with, amongst many other things. Everything we do should have a purpose. I am thankful I have a job that allows me to work some incredible people and organizations who are making a difference in the lives of others, whether people or animals. My job is my occupation of my faith in that I get to help share the great work of ours with the public but also help them continue to have funding to fulfill the amazing work they do.
That energizes me and I know that my current job is just the next step for what my next path in life will be down the road.
What energizes you? Have you felt the weight of a quarter-life crisis? Do you believe that we all have a purpose and things happen for a reason? What is your quiet time and how often do you take time for it? I would love to hear your thoughts, comments, ideas.
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16.9.
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