Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Can you keep a secret?

Secrets.  We all have been told a secret by someone and shared a secret of our own.  Telling secrets is something we learn at a very early age and continue to do the rest of our life.  Of course there are two roles to every secret; the "teller" and the "keeper."  The word secret marks the information being shared as confidential and to be kept private.  To be the "keeper" of a secret, you are being tested on how trustworthy and reliable you are.  Secrets are a way we show how much we value a person and this earned right should never be taken for granted.  However, as much as we try at times, secrets do slip and the repercussions follow. 

So why do we share secrets?  How do we know what is worth telling and not worth sharing?  These are a tough questions to ask and I wish I knew the answer.

I have my fair share of secrets stored inside of me.  Some are secrets of my own and others are secrets that I am the "keeper" of.   When I am told something that is confidential and private I store it deep inside of me until I am told it can be shared or  in some cases I keep it forever locked up inside.

Overtime you learn who you can trust and who you should never tell private information too.  Secrets are the true test to find out how trustworthy people are.  If you are someone like me who wears their emotions on their sleeve, then you know how hard it can be to keep a secret and not share information.  Sometimes I am just so excited that I want to tell anyone who will listen but I know I can't.  Thankfully I am blessed to have trustworthy people in my life.  However, I am still learning on what information is worth sharing and what I should just keep to myself.

Do you ever want to tell a secret (even though you know you shouldn't) just so someone will get off of your case?  Or have a secret that you know is exciting and all you want to do is "shout it out to the world!"  These sort of secrets are the ones I struggle in "keeping."  And yet, if roles were reversed I would want my keeper to not share them so why can't I always do it?

This weekend I was reminded as to why I need to zip my lips and hide the key when I am told confidential information.  Someone I care about told me news that was suppose to be kept a secret until further notice.  But anger and frustration drove me to spit it out and the punishment immediately followed.  Sometimes relief follows when we get to release a secret or share information.  In this particular case, I was instantly regretting my decision and fighting to take back my words.  The secret was not a bad secret, it was actually an exciting secret, however the reaction from the people I chose to tell ended up unlocking a safe full of unspoken secrets.  I should have waited to tell the news but I let my emotions take over.

Secrets are not easy.  They can burn deep inside of us or make us feel relief in knowing someone else knows. No matter what the secret is about, you have to keep your word no matter what.  Trust is earned and something to be cherished.  I am paying the price for breaking a promise and I know it is up to me to fix it.  Sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me and unfortunately this was not a good time to let it happen.  I know trust can be taken away from you in a second and I don't ever want people to think I am untrustworthy.  I am taking this in and making sure I am learning my lesson.  Mother Goose is right on because "secrets secrets are no fun, secrets secrets hurt someone" and this secret has truly hurt someone I love.

So I leave you with some questions.  How do you keep your emotions from letting you spill a secret?  Have you ever told information when you shouldn't have?  What did you do to fix the situation?

“Whoever wishes to keep a secret must hide the fact that he possesses one.”  
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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